Saturday, 28 September 2019

Surviving the battles

My styling work also goes into artistic projects.  This is a personal one which didn't begin that way, I made the feather cape after seeing The Cape Reimagined exhibition and soon got an opportunity to use it on a shoot, and as the shoot evolved, someone came up with the idea of smearing the make up across the model's face, and so the images fitted into my warrior queen concept.


This can be taken out of the concept and illustrates my personal experience:
I've had challenges all my life having been born with complications. I've got passion, determination and a professional mindset to keep my issues to myself and keep going, head held high.
I've started to become more open about what I've faced over the last two years which has been a relief! I'd like to think I can inspire others who don't have a straight trajectory in life to reach their potential
The images are about the serene queen who went into battle and survived.


Photographer: Lee Howell Model: Beth Morley Hair: Jason Hallhair Make Up:Karen B Stylist Jacki Clark

Monday, 9 September 2019

Life Is For Living

I've always been keen on giving the underdog their say, probably because I've been the underdog so much of my life  I'm writing about my experience going through the social security benefits overhaul to describe how awful it is, and to put my points across.

I've been going through the changeover from Disability Living Allowance to Personal Independent Payment with the government's benefit overhaul and it's been awful.  I was born with a one in 5000 complication which I ended up getting reconstructive surgery in Great Ormond St children's hospital to fix when I was nearly 16, then further surgery in the Middlesex Hospital in my mid twenties.  I was awarded DLA for life when I was 16, as what I cope with isn't going to change and neither is the daily maintenance and care.

The PIP claim was refused, and the mandatory reconsideration turned down.  The main problems here are that statutory guidelines in PIP advice issued to disability welfare to help in completing applications were not adhered to; in the report by the decision maker there were assumptions made about my health, and part of the report statement was based on something out of context; and my both my Citizen's Advice case worker and I feel that the mandatory reconsideration statement wasn't properly read.
The 'medical professionals' I've encountered during this process are quite unlike any GPs, consultant surgeons, nurses, radiologists, etc etc I've ever encountered in my vast experience. Their cross examination was intimidating; they had a hostile attitude and were more like prosecution lawyers who know how to get a very specific and particular response from someone.  The approach was very simplistic, the tribunal were ready to hear only fairly basic answers to questions rather than fully fleshed responses that are appropriate in explaining complicated health issues and how these affect me on a daily basis.
The changes to the benefits system, and the changes to the eligibility criteria is completely unjust for someone in my circumstances. Restructuring the benefits system is all well and good (in theory) to try and reduce fraudulent claims, but to significantly change the qualifying criteria to make existing recipients unable to gain an award’ (like it’s some kind of trophy!) is something which I believe should be illegal . People with restricted or limited capabilities should be given assistance as they need - if you don't have adequate quality of health you have very little.  To treat people who are vulnerable in this way is awful, and my experience has shown people are being exploited to an unnecessary extent.

A most important aspect to this is the point that it's meant to be about saving money. When the half day session for a doctor is £300, and the lawyer will have a hefty fee as well, it will quickly meet the amount of money which could have covered many people's benefit claims for a year or more.  There are several cases heard each day in centres up and down the country, and approx 60% of decisions to not grant claims are overturned, basically meaning these hearings are a huge waste of time, and money.

My entire life has been defined by cost cutting and money saving which has a continuing detrimental effect on my life and ability to reach my potential.  
Continued use of antibiotics throughout my life has caused a huge problem for me.  Two years ago I was able to start using alternative which it seems has been available since 2012 and I was only informed about it in 2017.  When I asked why I'd not been made aware of this beforehand I was told that antibiotics are "recommended procedure" the reason for which becomes apparent when you consider the price difference between the mineral solution I now use is £97/month whereas the antibiotics I was on for nearly 30 years at least were less than £15/month according to a Google search.  In the scheme of things, this is a small amount, and if my health had deteriorated further it would have ended up costing much more in the long run.

The other example is the lack of maintenance care I received as a child which caused severe permanent kidney impairment.  The extent of it meant that I could have sued Yorkhill Hospital before I turned 21 (I didn't as I didn't want to go through that sort of experience as a youngster).

Regarding the working life I’m meant to sustain myself with,a prime example of this being untenable is that despite very interrupted education, within 5 years of getting my first job I was the only woman out of 120 applicants to get one of five jobs with BBC Scotland.  Then after 2 years I was made redundant due to the financial crisis ten years ago, and the last several years have been spent working in a low paid job while continuing to train and progress in my specialism in fashion styling in quite a limited way while dealing with my health issues.  I’ve had to rely on my creative ability to get satisfying work and there’s so little investment in the creative industry so very few opportunities for me to get suitable work on a regular basis.  I have the ability to make my life work for me but the opportunities aren’t available.
Previously tax credits payments were alike to financial subsidies for lack of decent pay from good jobs, but now this has been stripped and there are fewer satisfying decent paying jobs.  Surely the sensible solution is to get high generating companies to invest in creating more jobs of a higher quality, therefore enabling real personal independence payments.

If security isn't being provided through suitable jobs a responsible government has a moral, ethical and legal responsibility to it's society to support the people who make up that society through benefits.

Thursday, 5 September 2019

LIFE and style go their own directions

I've decided to make the focus of this blog my commentary on life, society etc, and keep the fashion seperate.  Find the fashion blog here - jackiclarkstylist.blogspot.com

Wednesday, 30 May 2018

Westender anniversaries all round!

As Westender magazine hits it's 10 year anniversary, this month marks a year I've been working on the mag, and it's all the issues I've worked on which can be read online.


I change my mind from time to time on which is my favourite shoot, my best ones are on my website.  All have been great to work on, I love working with the Westender team, always so organised, professional, friendly and easy going.  We all know our stuff and gel well.  All the models we've had have been fantastic, from braving the weather to not-quite-managing steps in heels.



There's something about the first one I always love, very classic.  We had two of my rabbits on set for the Spring 2018 one, such well behaved bunnies who were happy to pose - it's in the genes, their sister has been photographed for a Vogue China editorial three years ago.  I love the metallic trend, and was really pleased to get the chance to do a metallic themed shoot last Autumn.

I've loved developing relationships with the boutiques in the West End, and bigger stores in Glasgow, it's good to catch up with the people I'm getting to know every couple of months.

Here's to working with a brilliant team on a splendid magazine for plenty more years.












Saturday, 19 May 2018

Oprah Winfrey and Rupaul conversation

Here's a great conversation between Oprah Winfrey and Rupaul - such an insightful and inspiring person.

youtube - Oprah Winfrey and Rupaul




Friday, 20 April 2018

Intro To Art Therapy evaluation

I finished my Intro To Art therapy course a couple of weeks ago, and the final piece of writing was a 2000-2500 word essay evaluating and reflecting on the course. 

I didn't say much to anyone on the course, though I brought up a few questions in the class, but the overall impression I got was that instead of teaching patients/clients how to process and resolve their own thoughts the therapist built up a relationship of trust, used "spontaneous art making" to let the person receiving the therapy express some pent up tension or emotions and lo!  a magic wand was waved and all was cool again, the person's behaviour was not erratic or dysfunctional.

Having used my creativity to channel thoughts and feelings, I know how important it is to be aware of what you're thinking and how to express it most effectively, and I feel that the art making in therapeutic session should be considered and the patient must learn to understand what and why they're thinking or feeling a certain way to be able to resolve their issues.  The "spontaneity" approach seems quite haphazard, too hit or miss to be effective for me.

As I said in my essay, the therapy has people work directly from their subconscious/imagination to make images to express thoughts and feelings rather than having to translate them into words.  The images can then be analysed and interpreted to figure out the thoughts and emotions needing processed, articulated and resolved.

I know the thoughts that have gone into the creative work I do and the meaning I’m intentionally conveying.  This work for me is my art therapy as it allows me to express points of view in visual form, the same way a poet writes carefully constructed words where they have spent time considering what to convey in a structured form, just as a band layers sounds, bpms etc to develop a scene and create music videos to reinforce the meaning.  The development of the piece analyses and processes the point of view.

In art classes I've also been taught not to work directly from the first ideas that come to you,, but to work on an idea and develop it.  Once you learn how to do something a particular way it's probably impossible to undo that.

I got a grade B2 which I'm quite satisfied with seeing as I didn't reflect much on work I did in the course (as I felt the pieces of "art" I made on the course were of no meaning).  Discussing my Cyber Sages pieces and the Lab Rat Assassin shoot I'm developing is an entirely different thing - these are my concept shoots to convey issues and my dis-satisfaction with situations, where I'm putting my art to good use to express my opinion.  I wanted to point out the case studies which reflected my own point of view that discussion is an important part of the therapy but that wasn't what was really being asked of me.

Here's the essay in full for reference:

Art Therapy uses the creative process of art-making and client reflection to improve and enhance mental, physical and emotional well-being of individuals by releaseing the unconscious through means of creative expression 

The aims of art therapy are exploring and sharing the meaning the works have for the client through the process and production of image making in a supportive environment.  Through the art being produced patients can give shape or form to experiences which can provide the basis for being consciously aware, emotional growth and continuing change in their sense of self, relationships and overall quality of their lives.

The official definitions help clarify what art therapy is but individual art therapists often have their own definitions; for some it is about the art itself as the therapeutic experience and for others its the relationship with the therapist that is crucial.

Margaret Naumberg’s 1940s model of art therapy based its methods on releasing the unconscious by means of spontaneous art expression and has its basis in the transference relation between patient and therapist and on the encouragement of free association. It is closely allied to psychoanalytic theory.  Treatment is the development of the transference relation and on a continual effort to get the patient’s own interpretation of their designs symbolic meaning and depends on the development of the transference relation along with a continuous effort to obtain the patient’s own interpretation of their symbolic designs.  Naumberg stated “the images produced are a form of communication between patient and therapist which constitute symbolic speech.

The therapy has people work directly from their subconscious/imagination to make images to express thoughts and feelings rather than having to translate them into words.  The images can then be analysed and interpreted to figure out the thoughts and emotions needing processed, articulated and resolved.

In therapy sessions, images can come from ideas discussed as well as those put down on paper which makes it possible to explore and ‘play’ with images that arise in this way.  Making images enables the ability to externalise and objectify experiences so they it become easier to reflect upon: by articulating a feeling or response it becomes easier to analyse and process it effectively.

In the classroom on this course honestly got very little from the spontaneous experiential art making myself as I found it much for the sake of it.  I saw that classmates found the process very relaxing and enjoyable: it served a purpose for them (one could see ways of incorporating it into her job, another really enjoyed the process of making the images and someone else mentioned her partner said she came home very relaxed after the class), but in the latter two cases I wonder if it’s the opportunity to have time to yourself away from a hectic life rather than actual therapeutic value?

The class boundaries were set with ideal intentions though it gave an inadequate sense of the real life therapeutic process - if we had opened up and explained our feelings it would have been more authentic.  I found it a true Introduction To Art Therapy as we were going through the motions rather than digging deeper into motivations and explanations of the art making which left gaps for me.  

The difficulties I had were in reconciling my practice as a creative and the Art Therapy process as taught and I found it back to front - I recognise and process my thoughts to create visual interpretations of what I think and feel, which is a very analytical process to give form to my thoughts; I am very aware of my motivations and reasons why I think or feel something - I’ve had to analyse and deconstruct the reasons behind an action which I am then very aware of along with full understanding of a motivation.  I intuitively did this to understand my feelings when I was quite young and then further learned to create a visual representation through set and costume design where there is a conveying of the mood of a scene or the comprehension of a character in order to convey the subtle qualities of a drama in the production’s visuals (colour, texture, styling, contrasts etc).  With that understanding and years of experience I find it a very effective way of processing thoughts into my own conceptual art work to express what I feel in full knowledge of my motivations.  I feel that the spontaneous experiential art therapy rather than understanding the thought process behind that expression is in reverse, and that the thoughts should be understood before making the art once the patient is established in their relationship with their therapist.  This to me is the point of therapy; to provide the patient with the tools to allow them to become self aware, independent and confident.  I appreciate the process of spontaneous work in the early stages to develop the relationship, the level of comfort and the process of the therapy.

I would far rather discuss the creative work I do rather than the experiential pieces I made in the class as I know the thoughts that have gone into these and the meaning I’m intentionally conveying.  This work for me is my art therapy as it allows me to express points of view in visual form, the same way a poet writes carefully constructed words where they have spent time considering what to convey in a structured form, just as a band layers sounds, bpms etc to develop a scene and create music videos to reinforce the meaning.  The development of the piece analyses and processes the point of view.  I've been my own therapist for years by following these processes.

In the class we were advised to think about what we’re feeling as we make the pieces of art.  One of the first pieces we made was the only one which had significance for me.  Once it was finished I immediately recognised what it meant - it was an image about a state of mind I’d been in a while previously where I had to reconcile an very active creative mind with my business brain -  to restrain the ambitious ideas I had at the time.  It demonstrates two states of mind side by side - a sense of restriction (caged) alongside a desire to be free (feathers):   The overall feeling is vibrant and full of energy - the materials, colours, shapes and textures are light and bright which reflect my optimism - the piece is an acknowledgment of this previous state of mind which I was aware of and had resolved.  

The process of making the piece was the use of materials which have connotations - eg feathers = freedom; mesh = cage; colour = vibrancy.  I began being attracted to the colours of the paper and colour and texture of the other layers which I knew immediately would come together to make an attractive piece.  As this is spontaneous art making I went with the first ideas that came into my mind - I could see the finished piece in my mind from the beginning and quickly completed but didn’t rush it.  How it revealed the subconscious thoughts is by use and placement of the materials by building layers to demonstrate what the piece reveals.  By making this piece I learned from the patients point of view that spontaneous art therapy is a process to create an image which is representative of thoughts and feelings to articulate the meaning in visual form.  I didn’t recognise anything else in other pieces I made, they were simple enjoyment because I had the allocated time and it was part of the class work.

Further reading increased my understanding far more and I found examples of an approach which to me is logical.

In Professor Mary Target’s work with a client, she had to try to give meaning to Rosa’s feelings; not to interpret these but help the patient identify and name these experiences which helped develop a mind map.  The process was not simply reflecting back but combining some of the analyst’s work with the client to resonate with them in a regular therapeutic environment that is sensitively maintained over time. Through this process, the client is helped to build a sense of emotional meaning.  Target kept her thinking about object relations and transference in the back of her mind and didn’t try to impose that on her, instead she used her thinking about the patient’s thought patterns and behaviour to help her understand them too.  

This to me is a very beneficial way of working and explains it well.

In Medical Humanities Alternative Project – Reflective Piece by Srinidhi Krishnamoorthy, she quotes Branch & Paranjape, 2002: “Reflection leads to growth of the individual – morally, personally, psychologically, and emotionally, as well as cognitively”and states heraim is to describe, evaluate and analyse her alternative project experience where she explored significance of Art within Medicine, particularly the effect of Art on healing and wellbeing in individuals affected by Breast cancer.

When she viewed the Breathless Breastless Project gallery exhibition she initially felt quite uncomfortable seeing such raw emotion so blatantly exposed on canvas”and the proverb‘a picture is worth a thousand words’ have never rung more true – words were too mundane to describe truly the physical and emotional journey that these women and their families had experienced.

Attending a prescribed complementary therapies for Cancer in Central Europe she took the time to speak to a participant about her Breast cancer journey.  In Art Therapy the therapeutic space allowed the patient to think without external bias or negative responses.  The act of self-expression assists them in processing and dealing with their cancer diagnosis and transcend above it to accept their transformed adjusted selves. 

In Christopher Whitehead-BainesLGBTQ Affirmative Art Psychotherapy which shows how LGBTQ affirmative art psychotherapy provides vital support to men coming to terms with, or struggling to come to terms with, homosexual feelings.

In Case Study 1 one of the images produced with a client was symbolic of the patients feelings at the time of the images creation when he felt lost, alone and empty.

He felt that he had wasted a large part of his life because confidence and self esteem issues had been holding him back. He suffered with anorexia during his childhood and had been the victim of daily bullying during his time at senior school.  Family life was good for him but he felt unable to tell anyone about the bullying and was ashamed of his sexuality and of being bullied in the first place. He was very emotional, became upset easily and was deeply unhappy with his physical appearance, constantly comparing himself to other men he felt were more attractive than him and in his mind, happier. The client had number of relationships that had ended with his partners being unfaithful which reinforced his feelings of inadequacy, believing that his partners had found somebody better looking and more interesting. He felt that he was a bad person who nobody was interested in.

Regarding Figure 2 Whitehead-Baines states “The image has a real power. I was drawn in during its creation and, at times, could feel the distress of the client. He became so involved with the image making process that there was a feeling of being in a trance while witnessing the image develop. The image originated as a mental image that changed as the client produced the drawing. The client described the figure in the image as alone on barren land at the top of a cliff. There is evidence of a strong understanding between therapist and client and a great appreciation of the client’s feelings as discussed and reinforced in the image making where his emotions are evident and expressed well on discussion of the image.

                            

In Case study 2 the image was produced early on in the therapy. The figure resembles a child, hiding behind his hands, though there are adult characteristics like facial stubble. There was a real sense of pain in the image felt by both therapist and client where the hiding is symbolic of the client’s hidden feelings, hidden from a young age. The staircase is a way out, symbolic of the role of therapy, but in order to climb the staircase the figure needs to stop hiding behind his hands, turn around, and face it. The steps vary in size and disappear into the distance; what is at the top of the staircase is unknown



Case study 1 gives a full overview of the patient’s circumstances and shows the level of discussion and understanding which has taken place before art making starts, and it makes sense to me that they talk before making the art.  It gives an immediate level of understanding of the patient’s knowledge of themselves rather than leaving the therapy process open to interpretation and an ‘as if by magic’ solution as I felt was the case in many studies I have heard.

I understand not everybody has a good understanding of their circumstances and that spontaneous art making is beneficial but I’m interested in seeing an understanding from the patient that they have developed a much stronger level of self awareness if they’re able to do so.  I know from experience how beneficial this is in releasing tension and finding an acceptable solution to issues and therefore I’m more keen to find examples which illustrate this method of working as it’s how I envisage running workshops in due course.